What Not To Wear

Most people want to know what we do in rehearsals.

Mainly, we comment on what Shaifer wears.

I know what you are thinking, "But you rehearse every day for 7 hours! You must be doing other things as well?!"

Nope. Not really. Commentary is extensive and thorough, and, I assure you, consumes most of our rehearsal hours.

For Example Tuesday Shaifer wore Horizontal Stripes and then asked us all day if he looked fat. Now, it doesn't take Tim Gunn to know that Horizontal stripes make everyone look fat. (Unless you're Kate Moss - in which case horizontal stripes make you look like a Size Two) Stripes width wise does nobody any favors. This is why your local Footlocker Employees always look svelte.

Wednesday, Shaifer went with a light Gray Sweater which would have been a major improvement were it not for the giant pink horizontal stripe at the bottom. But at least it was better than the effing sailor suit he was wearing Tuesday.

Thursday we couldn't really make fun of Shaifer. Shaifer looked good. Shaifer bought a brand new shirt at the Gap. We had to give it to Shaifer. We got a lot of rehearsing done that day.
But Friday, Shaifer outdid himself with a white and blue patterned polyester shirt with 5 buttons at the top that he wore for the first time in August of 1969 to Woodstock.
What will tomorrow bring? We wait with baited breath! The weather is supposed to be in the high sixties. Dare we hope for Culottes?

XOXO - Maia "Fashion Police" Madison