Tuesday, July 21, 2009


Check out "The Soapgeist - July20/09 | Sympatico / MSN TV Guide"

and while you're at it, the photos from opening night are here, on Steven Bergman's website ...


Monday, July 20, 2009

Audiences LOVE "Made in Heaven!"

Bob Rosenfeld, Long Island City

"I must say I was a little skeptical when my salsa instructor Andrew told me what his play was about. But the show is effing hysterical! I literally peed myself. The play is two heads above any other comedy on or off Broadway, and the great ensemble acting is a leg above anything I've seen in the last 20 years. Run, don't walk, to "Made in Heaven!"

Carl Tenenbaum, Upper West Side

"I was glad I dressed up for this one. Without giving too much away, there's a big 'gimme' you need to accept for the play to work. Fortunately I was quickly able to suspend my disbelief and I ended up laughing my velvet pants off!"

Walt Churzsky, Bayonne, NJ

"This is the funniest and most meaningful play I have ever seen! I choked up when they talked about the 'nightmare of buying pants.'"

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

A Quick Thank You From Kevin T. to a Stranger

For my first post, I would just like to say a quick thank you. No, it's not you, Shaifer the director. Or you, Shaifer, the stage manager. Or you, Shaifer, the costume and prop bitch. Nor does my quick thanks go to my fellow castmates, who are fantabulous, nor to our amazing producers, or our kick-ass running crew, or even to you at MITF, who manage to squeeze more productions into one theater in one night than Einstein's theory of Relativity believed was possible.

No, my thanks goes to the woman who, at an emotional and pivotal moment toward the end of the play opening night, in reaction to something Jessica does, remarked (as loudly as the actors onstage, I might add),

"Oh my God"

It might have been the most brilliant ad libbed remark in the history of live theater, if you don't count the movie theaters on 42nd after midnight. And it got one of the biggest, longest laughs of the whole show, AND it gave me the opportunity to ad lib right back to her, which has always been one of my favorite things about live theater.

So, to you, my darling, whoever you were, thank you, thank you, thank you. Feel free to come back anytime and give voice to the inner workings of my character's subconcious. I promise to be ready and waiting with a somewhat witty retort.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Opening Night!!! from the Director...again...

Was a HUGE success! The cast, crew, stage manager, running crew, costumes, were brilliant! The word is out and people are coming back and bringing friends. We have also added a peformance tomorrow night, Wednesday, July 15th at 9pm!

Hope to see you at our show! And thanks to all who have supported us.
Love and no comedy in this blog,

Monday, July 13, 2009

Costume Blog Entry
1:00 AM Monday, July 13. 2009

Well, I hate to admit it, but this is my virgin blog entry. No, I’ve never blogged before, and so I am a virgin in your blog hands. When I taught at University, the students ended up teaching me that the Internet is so much more than just a research tool, however until now I have only read a few entries, so here goes.
At the director’s bequest, we were each asked to add something to this site, and as I am the costume designer, I would like to invite you in on a part of my journey into the delightful play, “Made In Heaven’. It is now 1AM and I have just returned from a riotous run through and tech rehearsal. It’s hard to describe how satisfying it is to see a show come together. It is especially thrilling to be able to laugh, even when watching the rehearsals again, because of the amazing production of this unusual play. Actually, the play isn’t the unusual part, unless you consider the tightly directed nuances and precisely delivered performances unusual, and that would be only because of the unusually short time we had to rehearse for this festival, but rather the unusual circumstance within the play – that of conjoined twins, an unusual costume to create.
A few weeks ago, the Managing Director of the theatre I am currently working for, called down to the costume shop to ask if one of my students might want to design a small production that a friend of his was directing. Then he informed me of the plot. I was pleased to say that I would not hand this over to a student, nor any student. I realized the subject matter needed a little more maturity, whereas there would be conjoined twins, sharing a large penis, so I was excited to handle this myself.
I met with (producer/director) Andrew Shaifer and was thrilled that his sense of humor, artistic vision, theatrical background, and general joie de vivre would go so well with mine. At first I saw the twins as joined through the hips and up into the torso, with four separate legs, with the penis set in between legs 2 and 3. After my first meeting with Jay (author) I realized that his vision was joined through the hips and down through a fused center leg, with the penis set center, in front of this third leg. Immediately to the Internet to research conjoined people, which by the way, I can only find examples of conjoining of the same sex – two boys or two girls, never one of each – but I did find examples of two separate eggs becoming conjoined, which made it OK for me to accept that one actor is two inches taller and has darker hair. Also, the actor Kevin’s mother, who is a nurse, confirms this possibility. Next came some fairly simple sketches of two people with three legs, and then I called Katie, who works in the shop making patterns and sewing up the creations required. Although it is a simple pair of jeans, done in a simple pattern, the addition of a third leg meant there were new measurements and thoughts to getting this right. Each actor has a nice physique, with a waist measurement of 30 or so inches, whereas the twins have a collective waist of 57. Each individual thigh measures approximately 18 inches, and the twins’ center leg is a good 30. The biggest ‘discovery’ in the process, was to remember that Mother Nature and the Gods of Physique and Gravity will have their way. On an average human, our pants stay up because our hips and butts are most often, together, larger that our waists and that gluteus maximus keep the pants from sliding down. While the twins each have only one outer hip, and open space from center back to center back, it made the first rehearsal, with the newly created jeans even more interesting watching the actors say lines while continually hiking up their pants. A simple contraption of elastic and the addition of a 63-inch length waist belt did the trick. At least their pants stay on so you can concentrate on the funny lines and action. I will also tell you that there is special underwear set inside the pants, but as it is now so late, I will sign off and let you just imagine how the actors and I handle the large penis. But that my dear friends, is for another blog entry on another evening.

From Costume Designer, Jeffrey Wallach

Sunday, July 12, 2009


We open tomorrow night! Anyone reading this should send 2 friends if they can't come! The dress rehearsal was a blast! The cast is amazing! I've been doing this for 25 years and have never had more fun...so come on down and join the party!
Peace and love and one dick for every two boys.


BIG BIG NEWS! There have been some major last minute changes to the cast. I have to say, I was really excited before, but to be working with Steve, and Bette, and Shane Black is just overwhelming.
DON'T MISS MONDAY'S AWESOME SHOW. There'll be a talkback after with Me, Steve Buscemi, and our brilliant, hilarious director Andrew Shaifer (Eyes shift quickly to Jay).

The pastries in Paris are SO yummy...

Maia, I don't think you're fat.
Okay - in an earlier post, Shaifer offered the following:


I am fat, and offended.

I am offering my own contest.


XOXO - Fat People Aren't So Jolly

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Here's a picture of all the thin people in the cast:

XOXO - Eating A Babka By Myself On A Rainy Saturday Night

Underwear Night

I realized that I always have the camera, so I should probably post a picture of myself so you know what I look like.

Tonight we had Underwear Night. That's right, our brilliant and talented costume designer, Jeffrey Wallach, brought us different selections of Man Whore underwear for Wilder to wear.

Despite of the fact that everybody giggled and mocked the slut-tastic underwear that Wilder has to wear, everyone wanted to try a pair.

Except me. I am too fat to wear any of that shit.

Love - More Cushion For The Pushin'

As you know by now, this is a play about conjoined twins that share a dick. (Think Side Show, but funny, and no songs.)

Our brilliant actors Alex Anfanger and Kevin T. Collins rehearse ace-bandaged together, which makes our rehearsals look like an episode of M*A*S*H.

Because he's method, and went to Tisch n' shit, Kevin T. Collins also connects himself to Anfanger's belt buckle with a Carabiner. Tonight, the fucking thing broke. This is when Kevin realized that his climbing and safety hardware was not to be used for load bearing. Not a euphemism.

Anfanger plays a Nelly Queen, as you can see from this picture.

Shaifer usually does something to piss Anfanger off at least once a rehearsal.

Love - Chubby McChubstein

Hello. I'm Maia. You know, the one Andrew refers to as "the fat chick." (That's the last time I sleep with a director...)

We suffered through many directors on this project before alighting upon our brilliant Shaifer:

But finally Shaifer came and helped us find all the comedy that this piece required. The other directors didn't really have a sense of humor. Actually, that's not fair - Kermit was pretty funny, but he smelled like pork which made Anfanger uncomfortable since he keeps Kosher...

Sleepless in New York

The show is coming along great (in spite of the fact our director has exposed himself to us on numerous occasions!) and we’re all really excited about the opening on Monday.

I’ve only slept for several hours this entire past week, due to the fact that about a month ago I had the misbegotten idea that it would be “Fun” to do two shows at this festival. The other (Two Handers) opens Wed, so as that comes together I will FINALLY get some sleep tonight.

Hope to see you all on Monday. COME...and you just might!

Steve (Gilbert)

From the Director...Again

An Interview with Andrew by Andrew
Andrew: So, Andrew. May I call you that?
Andrew: Sure, Andrew.
Andrew: Having read the cliff notes for the play, I see that it's about conjoined twins who share a dick, yes?
Andrew: You hit the nail on the head.
Andrew: So let's free associate.
Andrew: Sure. My whole life is doing things for free.
Andrew: Favorite dick?
Andrew: Diggler.
Andrew: Least favorite Dick?
Andrew: Cheney.
Andrew: Biggest Dick?
Andrew: Diggler then Cheney.
Andrew: Best conjoined twin dick?
Andrew: Max and Benjie from the play MADE IN HEAVEN. Get your tickets! You'll love this show!
Andrew: And if we don't get tickets and come to the show?
Andrew: Well, then, who's the dick now?
Andrew: Thank you, Andrew. May I add, you are incredibly sexy and good looking. Much more than any of the guys in MADE IN HEAVEN.
Andrew: No argument here.


That's all for today folks. See you tomorrow.

From the Director

It is late and I will write more tomorrow but if you don't have tickets get em now, bitches!
This show is great, our costume designer is so HOT, the cast is brilliant, our running crew are sexy young kids and I am...I am...well...kind of a troubled old man who is lucky to be involved with such talented, funny, swell people.

I didn't swear once! I fucking rule!
More tomorrow...
Andrew Shaifer Director, Producer, Assistant Stage Manager, Prop Misstress, and One hell of a 3 inch package.